what keeps me going
what keeps me going
is the little puppy dog over there
with his cute little tail wiggling enthusiastically
in anticipation of someone caressing him
lovingly
and the eyes of a child i see somewhere
open and innocent
letting it all in
no resistance
and to feel my fingers gliding over the piano keys
finding new harmonies
so many ways of
real feeling
those are the moments that save me
restoring, recharging my spirit
hope sprouts from there
faith
~~~
i will not pray
for transformation anymore!
look what happened
in 2012
a transformation indeed!
three years of Dark Night of the Soul happened
which i had actually asked for (“a profound transformation”)
naively ; )
not that i wish to complain now
it has been one of the best things in my life so far
complete with a resurrection and new life : )
awesome journey
painful indeed
but here i am
praying
again
asking the gods
or whoever directs our fate
to do some action
something beyond my scope
something about humanity’s predicament
~~~
what is it that i am doing here, actually?
life for me has come to a point
where action has mostly moved into the inner space
into consciousness
the oneness realm
where the pains and travesties of the wold
are felt as my own
and my own are seen in the world
no way to look away anymore
the observation and comprehension of the world
(and i mean mostly the human world)
has become the most interesting and absorbing activity
and at the same time a new kind of spiritual practice
only by observing in a completely balanced way
connecting but not reacting, empathic yet unaffected
in a quantum experiment the observers are affecting the experiment
yet not determine the outcome
the difference between observing and witnessing
this is a mind boggling experience but but very simple and natural all the same
and if you ask me why i do what i do i will not be able to say
but i will know what i do
i know it as a way to affect the world
without changing a bit
I guess Buddhist High Lamas knew that
when they moved their whole culture out of Tibet
they did not resist The Change
they did not complain
so shall i live my life
~~~
The Great Experiment – 2020
(What will it take to unify a fractured world)
so many fault lines
so many divisions
so many disparities
so many differences
almost impossible to imagine
what could unite us
humanity
but then, lets add a threat big enough to our health
a threat small enough to be virtually invisible
a threat disruptive enough
to stop everything
in the ways
we know
this should actually wake us up
don’t you think?
this should actually make us realize
that we can not fight pandemics alone, that we can not survive climate change
only by looking out for ourself and our own
this unprecedented situation should – theoretically – make us realize that coordination and cooperation is a far more effective way to solve a global problem than “every man for himself”, “America First”, “Britain’s Independence”, “”China’s doing it all in secrecy” and the rest of such self-centered attitudes
obviously, it did not wake us up, the shock was not strong enough
the blow too drawn out
what will it need?
a more fatal virus?
bigger fires eating away whole towns?
more severe hurricane seasons?
hotter summers?
more Seasons of Trump?
more Bolsonaros, Erdogans, Orbans, Putins, Xi Jinpings?
I don’t know
I really don’t
but clearly i am more than a little bit worried
~~~
politics
I have never been political
or even slightly interested in politics all my life
honestly, the endless self-congratulating and aggrandizing
the bombast, the lying and haggling for more power has always disgusted me
the obviously phony smiles and handshakes still make me want to puke!
And yet, for the last four years or so i have been observing, have been reading and informing myself more and more about the political sphere and about the forces of power that are at play there
power power
power
we have to master that power
use it as a force for good
the good of the whole instead the good of a few
we need to master that
and quick!
~~~
year of paradox
2020 was the year of paradox for me
the simultaneous experience of opposites
feelings and states that actually don’t go together
obviously can co-exist inside my soul
a revelation for me, really a kind of enlightenment ; )
sorrow and worry for the world and wonder and awe about life’s resilience
skepticism and disappointment about our human flaws and follies and deep faith in our potential
deep loneliness and alienation and complete connectedness, almost oneness at the same time
and the feeling that all is well, all is as it shall be
right in the middle of all the craziness of our world
pretty crazy experience indeed
for the mind
blowing it
(who needs this kind of mind anyway ; )
2021
a happy new year for ya all
hope-fully
hope full
