Consciousness my love, who are you?

I could also start closer to home and ask: Consciousness my love, who am I?

So, Who am I?

I am Cris Rieder

I am Austrian born

I am a World Citizen

I am 66

I am a grownup man

I am a white, Caucasian male

I am heterosexual

I am single

I am a therapist, a counselor, a facilitator of inner processes, a healer of psychologic wounds, a supporter of people’s growth

I am a teacher of integral Spirituality

I am a student of Life

I am a catalyst

I am inspiration

I am influential

I am strong & powerful

I am gentle and care-full

I am clear(ity)

I am creative(ity)

I am self-assured(ness)

I am self-aware(ness)

I am open awareness

I am constant

I am always

I am unchanging

I am still(ness)

I am conscious(ness)

I am full (potentiality)

I am empty(ness)

I am (unexplainable)

I am

I am

I am

I

I

I

What i am doing here (and maybe you may want to try it too :  ) is much more than playing with words. It is something like the peeling of an onion, removing layer after layer until you hit the core.

Onion as metaphor for what i have been doing up there.

In my case i am acknowledging and removing the layers of identification that make up my social identity, my professional identity, my relationship identity, my character identity and so on. All the things that make up “Cris” i release in order to find what is beyond those transitory indicators, to encounter my core.

And – as many sages and advanced human beings have indicated in the past – i find that there is, there is ….. nothing.

At least nothing that i could put my finger on it or describe. Or even give it an adequate name.

As Lao Tsu wrote long ago in the Tao Te Ching:

“The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao;

The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth.

The named is the mother of the ten thousand things. … “

But in my experience, this “nothing” is not nothing.

The analogy of the onion is not really accurate.

What i find in my core, the “I” beyond the “Cris” is just looking like there is nothing thats left over of me.

In actual experience it is more like the emptiness in the core of a flute.

There, it – the breath – flows.

Out of it, the music flows.

The flute – even one so sophisticated and beautiful looking as a silver concert flute – is just an object, a sophisticated piece of material.

It is the breath, the wind blowing thru it that brings it alive, that makes it fulfill its real purpose.

Now, you may ask, and what is this breath, this wind?

Yes, sure, thats the most interesting question of all.

Is this the Consciousness that philosophy, metaphysics and quantum physics thru the centuries have tried and failed to define.

Is it the Pure Awareness, that Zen Buddhists and meditators of all time periods talk about? (Only if you ask them consistently ;  )

Is it the Spirit, that mystics and saints, sages and yogis and wisdom teachings of the ages have referred to as the real player, the only player in the game of existence.

Well, at least for me the question “Who am I” does not lead me to a distinct answer and i don’t expect it to do that.

It is more like the opening of a door, a big big door.

Maybe the ultimate door, i don’t know about ultimate ;  )

For now, i am content to live in this, this “open door space”.

Form and formlessness at once.

In my experience, the experience of it is

PEACE