my favorite game

in the ocean:

find a quiet spot

make myself light as a feather

float on the waves, face to the sky

close my eyes

feel

.

..

…

…

..

.

floating

on the water

my body relaxing

by the gentle rocking of the waves

breath becomes deep and makes a sound

like a purring of a cat

sound of roaring waves in the background of my awareness

i feel save, i let go of tomorrow, yesterday, myself

eyes closed

thoughts disappear

i go back into the darkness

into the void, into the motherly womb

gently rocked by my mothers movements, her walking about her life

sounds of her blood pulsing in the background of my awareness, closer than anything i know

i am embodied surrender, i have no control over where she takes me, not even who she is

eyes wide open

i walk thru my life

following the currents, swept up by storms

floating thru peaceful times, swimming purposefully sometimes

do i know where i go?

can i know the expanses of this ocean?

while being the fish?

I practice surrender

i practice faith in god/goddess/all that is

i trust in a benevolent responsive, supportive universe

even when the going gets rough … sometimes

the waves of life washing over me, the ebb, the flow, the storms, the agonizing dead calm that entraps us occasionally

i understand

i don’t understand

i am in control

i am not

it does not matter so much what i think about life

or make out of it

IT IS WHAT IT IS

I love it

I love it

i love it